My Anxiety, God’s Word

June 12, 2019 by Meredith 100 Comments

It’s easy to assume that someone as outgoing and passionate about Jesus as I am wouldn’t suffer from anxiety. But that’s not the truth.

Throughout my life, I have suffered through several seasons of intense panic, anxiety, and subsequent depression, which really began intensifying in my college years.

The panic attacks have rendered me absolutely ineffective, and in my mind, “lifeless.” In my lowest seasons, I could barely speak or move. The world around me was moving, but I was not. I was physically present, but mentally and emotionally, I was checked out. I could have a conversation with you for an hour, but couldn’t recall one sentence you spoke. It’s as if my real self was buried under a thick layer of concrete that I couldn’t seem to break past.

The results of other low seasons included missing weeks of school during college and choosing to leave my first job in corporate America because I wasn’t functioning. At times, I couldn’t even get in the car to drive a few minutes away to the grocery store. I pulled back from friends, family, and responsibilities, even basic functions like showering and eating. Though I was never suicidal, the thought of not waking up felt like a welcome relief.

Most anxiety and depression feeds on fear, control, and uncertainty. For me, my thoughts say, “Stay curled up in a ball. Don’t face the day. Don’t even try.” They say, “Fear is your master now.” They say, “You’ll always be a slave to fear and hopelessness; living a fruitful life will never be a possibility.”

And as a Christian, the lies I hear say, “You’re spiritually dead. You’re not believing ‘enough,’ not trusting God ‘enough,’ not having ‘enough’ faith”—as if my spiritual state relies on my own strength and efforts in the first place. Naturally, when these thoughts invade, I believe them to be truth. And when I do, I am robbed of my peace, stability, joy, and confidence.

When these feelings tempt me to despair, I easily forget who God is and what he says about me. But even when I forget the basics of the Lord’s character, he is merciful to counter the lies and reveal himself through his Word.

His Word redirects me in my scrambling thoughts. His Word squashes the lies. His Word is unchanging fuel and food for a parched and hungry soul.

So friend, I meet you here today with a sympathetic, tender heart. And I must emphasize that I’m not trying to slap on a quick biblical Band-Aid for your suffering. Rather, I invite you to join me in actively taking our thoughts captive and making them obedient to Christ through the power of his Word (2 Corinthians 10:5).

“I did nothing today. I am wasting my life.”

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace. (Ecclesiastes 3:1-8)

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. (James 1:2-4)

Return, O my soul, to your rest; for the Lord has dealt bountifully with you. (Psalm 116:7)

“For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish.” (Jeremiah 31:25)

“I am losing my mind.”

You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you. (Isaiah 26:3)

Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved. (Psalm 55:22)

Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. (Colossians 3:2)

For God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. (2 Timothy 1:7)

“I am a failure.”

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. (Romans 1:8)

You then, my child, be strengthened by the grace that is in Christ Jesus … (2 Timothy 2:1)

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)

“I will never be okay.”

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. (Romans 8:28)

And I am sure of this, that he who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ. (Philippians 1:6)

He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. (2 Corinthians 9:10)

“What is the point of trying?”

The Lord is not slow to fulfill his promise as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish, but that all should reach repentance. (2 Peter 3:9)

Though he fall, he shall not be cast headlong, for the Lord upholds his hand. (Psalm 37:24)

But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 3:13-14)

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him. (James 1:12)

“I’m obviously not a strong Christian to be experiencing this.”

Then [Jesus] said to them, “My soul is very sorrowful, even to death; remain here, and watch with me.” And going a little farther he fell on his face and prayed, saying, “My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will.” […]Again, for the second time, he went away and prayed, “My Father, if this cannot pass unless I drink it, your will be done.” […] So, leaving them again, he went away and prayed for the third time, saying the same words again. (Matthew 26:38-44)

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal. (2 Corinthians 4:16-18)

“I don’t have the strength.”

“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.” (Matthew 11:28-30)

But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)

“Be still and know that I am God.” (Psalm 46:10)

“I am alone.”

Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. (Isaiah 41:10)

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. (Psalm 34:18)

“And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20)

“I am being punished.”

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love. (1 John 4:18)

What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? Who shall bring any charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? […] No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 8:31-39)

“Why is this happening to me?”

The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps. (Proverbs 16:9)

And if children, then heirs—heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, provided we suffer with him in order that we may also be glorified with him. (Romans 8:17)

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them. (Ephesians 2:10)

The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me; your steadfast love, O Lord, endures forever. (Psalm 138:8)

Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. (Romans 12:2)

“But, what if …?”

And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19)

Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid. (John 14:27)

And he said to his disciples, “Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on. For life is more than food, and the body more than clothing. Consider the ravens: they neither sow nor reap, they have neither storehouse nor barn, and yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds! And which of you by being anxious can add a single hour to his span of life? If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that, why are you anxious about the rest?” (Luke 12:22-26)

They will have no fear of bad news;
their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord.
Their hearts are secure, they will have no fear … (Psalm 112:7-8a)

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