It's a natural desire to say things to comfort those we love who are in pain. But in our desire to eliminate suffering from our loved ones' lives, we can unintentionally hurt them. Even with the best intentions, we oftentimes say the wrong things. Here are five common ways infertile couples feel hurt from well-meaning family and friends. Offering the "Just Relax" Mentality Advising your friend to "just relax," "stop thinking about it," and/or "go on a vacation" as a possibility for them to get pregnant is hurtful for many reasons. Sure, we've all heard anecdotes of other couples getting pregnant after they "stopped thinking about it" or went on a tropical vacation. But essentially, … [Read more...]
Five Questions to Consider as you Wait
As a child, I rarely had lofty goals of being a doctor, an astronaut, or a teacher. My dream was to be a mother. When my husband and I married nearly seven years ago, I assumed that bearing a child would be easy, painless, and quick. But perhaps the most challenging season of waiting has been experiencing years of infertility. Our expectations and our culture’s pressures quickly changed our perspective on the loneliness, pain, and fear that waiting for a child brings. We watch couples around us become pregnant, raise their children, and continue moving on with life. And though we praise the Lord for keeping us from bitterness, envy, and jealousy, we cannot help but feel the negative … [Read more...]
To the Infertile Couple on Valentine’s Day
Gasp! A Christian talking about sex?! Yes. Though this post has nothing over the top or graphic, it does contain talk of intimacy -- it's not necessarily a read for your kids. Ah, Valentine's Day ... The time of year when singles feel lonely, when couples put unnecessary expectations on one another, when we feel almost forced to love. For these reasons I've never been much of a Valentine's Day girl. Don't get me wrong, though ... I will never turn down a nice dinner and flowers from my hubby! But for anyone who has walked the road of infertility, you know how trying to conceive can disrupt your intimacy. Combine the pressures of Valentine's Day and infertility, and … [Read more...]
{Your Story} Annie and Dave Horn
My second guest story comes from Annie Horn. Annie, her husband Dave, and I went to high school together (go Mustangs!), and after many years reconnected through Facebook. Annie opened up to me about her journey through miscarriage. She is, and always has been, a completely open book -- and I'm blessed to share her story with you today! Annie is a wife, nurse, and mama of "two ginger babies" under three living in Chicago. She loves rescue animals, cooking, crafting, and a good cup of coffee -- and makes it a daily mission to live a life that makes others want to know God. Annie has a heart for breaking the Bible down and dissecting it for others to understand. She blogs about this … [Read more...]