Behind the name
For so long, it has been (and still is) my dream to rejoice and scream to my husband: “It’s positive! The pregnancy test is positive!” I imagined all sorts of scenarios of how I would share the good news with him, family, and friends. I planned for all kinds of seasons, holidays, and family get togethers.
It seemed my one and only priority had been to get to that point of saying: “It’s positive!” Drain my bank account, put strain on my marriage, question the Lord’s goodness — didn’t matter — as long as I could get pregnant. My selfish heart believed that the only time I would be able to say “It’s positive!” would be from two little lines on a pregnancy stick. I concluded that achieving a pregnancy was my only option to be fulfilled and to truly rejoice. Naturally, I associated “positive” with good, and “negative” with bad.
But I was wrong.
Being rooted in Jesus Christ, our lives and our futures as women in Him are promising, hopeful, and purposeful. We can look at our lives and our futures and confidently say, “It’s positive!”
Dear sister, please know that I’m sorry that you are walking the road of infertility. My heart aches for you. I’ve been there, and I’m still there. My goal is never to minimize or lessen the pain that infertility brings into your life. I don’t want you to cast it aside or tell you not to worry about it. Rather, my deepest desire is for you to see your struggle as an opportunity to strengthen your walk with the Lord. Believe me — it’s possible.
Throughout my infertility journey, I found that online forums, surface-level devotionals, and lets-only-talk-about-our-pain relationships in the infertility community hindered rather than helped me. Constantly talking in “infertility code,” using a screen name, never showing my face, and only checking in on my positive or negative progress was a rollercoaster of confusion, anxiety, and frustration. I believe good comes from these sites for many women, but I also think boundaries need to be set — because these sites can quickly become dangerous and misleading idols in our lives.
Please accept this: I have no “cure” for your infertility. I won’t sell supplements, ask you to drink special tea, or ask you what your body is doing today. I won’t throw “baby dust” your way. I won’t post my temperature charts or ask to see yours. I won’t give you a false guarantee of miraculously conceiving after reading my blog. What I can do, however — is give you constant, consistent, and beautifully healing encouragement through the never-changing Word of our Lord and Savior.
My writing is inspired by infertility — but it is not centered on infertility.
It’s Positive! is a place where the Fruit of the Spirit can grow and flourish — a place for love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.